Day 75 - week 11 - The Start of a 30-Day Challenge

Day 75 - Connecting More Deeply

I learned something the other day: "things aren't always what they seem"

I often tell a story about the time I jumped off a lifeguard station believing I could fly; I was 7. I always thought the story was about how faith-filled, imaginative, and daring I am, but after speaking with a mentor recently I realized I was missing an important detail.

I jumped off the lifeguard tower believing to the core of my being that the windbreaker I was wearing would fill up with the same wind that was churning whitecaps, and lift me, giving me wings like a seagull.

As the wind filled my "wings" I called out to my father to watch me. I spread my arms wide and jumped. Within seconds I hit the hard sand, the wind knocked out of me. That is the part I gloss over, "getting the wind knocked out of me".

Fast forward 40+ years. I am talking with my mentor, telling her the story, and she points out that perhaps this experience created a "core belief" that I carry around with me as an adult - namely that when I attempt to fly and do things that I deeply believe in, I believe they won't get off the ground, but instead will end in hurt, frustration, and utter disappointment - and ultimately take my "breath" away (all this is subconscious ).

This made me wonder if I stifle attempts at success because I am afraid of the possible adverse impact. I don't know the answer yet, but the question provides a marvelous place for exploration.

What are your core beliefs and how do they impact you?

5 thanksgivings:

1. I am grateful for insight, mentors and deep wisdom.
2. I am grateful for Marva at http://www.earthmotherdivinesage.com for inspiring this challenge.
3. I am grateful for Karen Paquin for being a long-term friend with a ton of true wind beneath her wings and a deep belief in herself.
4. I am grateful for Jeffrey who continues to lift my wings.
5. I am grateful to Father Rand Reasoner for being.